2006 Dodge Ram SRT10 Carpinteria CA

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I’m hopelessly snakebit. No, I didn’t just get back from Vegas. It’s worse. Far worse. I let a $51,835 jackpot of sinful fun get away. And with 500 horses on tap, it didn’t go quietly. The sordid tale began with a phone call. We’ve got a Ram SRT10 available, but only for a week. Would you like it? Does Britney Spears have issues?

So that’s how Big Red wound up on my driveway. Its “power bulge” hood and scoop, “Viper powered” badges and 22-inch “Viper-styled” alloys scream that this truck’s specialty is dusting the competition, not gathering dust.

Climb into the cabin, settle into the sculpted seats and place your paws on the leather-wrapped steering wheel. You sensory inputs go into overdrive. Black-on-white-faced gauges. Red start-engine button. There’s even a nostalgic satin-finished Hurst shifter, only this time used to stir six forward gears, not four.

Even if there wasn’t the sexy pushbutton start button, there’d be no replacement for the thrill of firing up the V10’s 505 cubic inches of displacement. The Hurst and T-56 gearbox help conduct 525 lb-ft. torque to a stoutly-geared (4.56:1) Dana 60 rear diff. Your left leg will get quite a workout, as the clutch is old-school heavy.
For 2006, the Ram SRT10 gets a stronger hydroformed and boxed frame. The suspension has been tuned for performance and includes rear sway bar and Bilstein montube shock absorbers, yet the SRT10 Ram’s on-road manners impressed us as quite livable. Just remember it’s a hulking truck, not a cushy Lexus.

Not once did I hesitate to pass up more practical modes of transit during our all-too-short time with the Hairy One, enlisting the SRT10 for runs to the grocery store and Costco. My wife and I were nicely surprised at how friendly this muscle truck’s cabin can be. Of course, features like standard dual-zone AC, large storage bins, Infinity 508-watt sound system and the optional Sirius satellite radio didn’t hurt.

When you want unleash the beast, just hold on while the world goes by at warp speed. Dodge cites 0-60 mph times in the 5.5-second zone. From the “kids, don’t try this at home” school of marketing, Dodge proudly notes that a 2004 Ram SRT earned an entry in the Guinness record book as the world’s fastest production pickup with a 154.587 mph clip in the “flying mile.” Meanwhile, the “whoa” matches the go, thanks to 15-inch rotors up front and 14s out back. Calipers are red, of course.

For the more practical and disciplined, the SRT treatment is also available in a Quad Cab version. However, that utilitarian package gets a heavy-duty four-speed automatic instead of the T-56, Pirelli Scorpion all-season tires replace the Pirelli Scorpion 305/40R22 performance rubber, and cooling enhancements help boost rated towing capacity to 8,150 pounds.

The Ram SRT10 starts at $48,505 (including destination) but the Inferno Red pearl paint, Sirius radio, side air bags, navigation system and polished wheels inflated the bottom line to $51,835.

Speaking of costs, it’s our duty to report that the EPA fuel mpg numbers are a miserable 9 city and 15 highway. But let’s put it in perspective. If you lust to have those sexy long red cam covers under your hood and can afford a $50 thou drive-out price, you’re most likely not going to worry over the cost of a fill-up.

Just think of this eye-catching, power-crazed pickup as the most practical of the SRT family.

Our favorite valet, a gentleman who monitors our test cars the way Warren Buffet analyzes annual reports, summed it up best the first time he laid eyes on our SRT10 tester.

“Man, when I was 16, I would have killed you for that thing!”