4 Steps for Success in Business and Life Raleigh NC

STEP ONE Gain Confidence by Stating Your Intentions
Action: Define your goal and be motivated by your own definition of success. Success: Building self-confidence by starting on your unique path to success. Very few dare to strengthen the belief in themselves enough to go after their goals. This step awakens the conviction that already exists in you. Understanding your real intentions is simple and powerful. We often put off defining and achieving our goals because we fear that if we do not follow the “way it is supposed to be done,” we will fail. Good news: The world in which we live today changes very quickly. New technologies, different sales venues, and amazing jobs are created every day. Therefore, the path to achieving an objective transforms daily and, at times, hourly. The same is true for your definition of success. It transforms as you gain knowledge. As you progress toward a goal, you learn from the real world and adjust your goal. Once you accomplish something, you ask yourself, “Now that I achieved this, what is next?” Life is about exploring the world so you can discover what makes you happy and successful in this moment. Continue to change and evolve. It is part of growing as a human. Continually adjusting your goal is natural. A few weeks after you get that new job you really wanted, you will be thinking about your next promotion. The product you are developing to revolutionize the way people educate their children will change as you discover how to manufacture and package it. The story you want to write will be much different when it hits the big screen or is published as a book. Unwrap the unknown and be surprised. Acknowledge the fact that your goal will transform by writing My definition of ultimate success will change as I discover how to make my goal a reality below: Celebrate each “version” of your success. Explore your current goal and find out how to connect it to the real world. Use what you learn to REDEFINE your definition of success and take action to create your next new reality.

Life Is Full of Multiple Successes
You can have anything for yourself if you take action. It is not difficult, and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Read the biographies of famous people and discover that they had multiple careers and successes:

Benjamin Franklin was a writer, publisher, and then a congressman.

Abraham Lincoln failed as a storekeeper, lost in his first attempt to obtain public office, failed when he ran for the U.S. Senate, and yet is known as one of America’s greatest presidents.

Donald Trump declared bankruptcy more than once before becoming a billionaire real estate investor, casino owner, and media darling.

My friend’s mom was a floral designer and, at the age of 44, started the process of becoming a neuroscientist. Yes, a brain scientist!

Kick Start Your Success
Success begins by building the right foundation. One that keeps providing you with the ideas and inspiration you need to continue improving.

So . . . What Do You Do?
The most frequently heard question in your life may be, “What do you do?” Your answer to this simple question can kick start spectacular changes in your life and work. The enthusiasm with which you answer this question, the words you choose, and the confidence you project affects people’s belief in your ability to achieve goals. If you believe in yourself, others will, too. Most people only know what we tell them about ourselves. Speak positively about your current goal and people will focus on helping you achieve it. Every time you answer this question, you are really creating a new beginning for yourself. This query is a perfect opportunity to tell the story of your current goal in such a memorable way that people will want to know more. You accomplish this by focusing on the most compelling part of your answer. Describing the how and why of what you are doing, rather than just listing a title. The outcome you want to develop is simple: To inspire other people to remember your current goal and open doors that can lead to even greater success.

Gain Personal Focus by Writing Your Intent Down
Most people speak from their minds rather than their hearts, setting them up for a rough start. When asked what their goal is, they usually respond with, “I want to find a girlfriend.” “I would love to start a restaurant.” “I want a job as a marketing director.” These fact-based definitions do nothing to inspire support from others. People are naturally motivated to inquire about how you expect to achieve your success rather than provide you with assistance. The first accomplishment on your road to success is to understand the value you intend to deliver to others and commit it to writing. Taking this action gives you the ability to speak with greater confidence. True focus develops through combining the information found both in your heart and in your intellect. Release your internal awareness and power by defining the benefit you offer: Your Intent.What is intent? It is the energy within you, burning in your soul. It is an intimate understanding of how your actions will benefit others. It is the same process, whether your goal is huge or small—the job of your dreams, finding a great babysitter, giving team members new responsibilities, or creating a multibillion-dollar company. The path to success begins by defining your intent. When you first write something down, it may appear insignificant, because words can never truly capture our imagination. However, with the help of others, your dream will grow beyond your wildest expectations. If I put a seed in my hand and show it to people, they will never be able to experience its potential for beauty. No one will be able to help me grow the seed successfully until I take the first step of planting it. Once the seed begins to sprout, people will now be on the lookout for ideas for its healthy growth. They will recommend new fertilizers and volunteer to water it when I go on vacation making it easier for my plant to thrive. The same is true for your goal. People are inspired to help when you reveal the power behind your purpose.

Two Types of Intent
Intent is the underlying emotional foundation of your goal. It gives you the personal focus, energy, passion, and commitment you need to succeed. Open your heart. Defining the benefit you offer gets you out of your head and into the power of your passion. There are two types of intent: internal and external. Your internal intent shows you why achieving your goal is important to you. What do you love about it? Your internal intent connects your real-world goal to your heart. And the heart has amazing power! Your external intent shows you how achieving your goal benefits other people—establishing a positive foundation from which to build. Whether these include your new boss, a business owner, a customer, or an expectant mom—does your goal make their work easier, save them time, enable them to realize a dream, or inspire them to take action? Intent personalizes and humanizes your goal, motivating people to want to know more about it. Instead of questioning how you will succeed, they will ask how they can support your efforts. Combined, your intents establish the foundation for the discovery of the way to make your goal a reality. Your intent does not have to impress other people. It simply has to be something that is important to you. By starting from intent, you break down any intellectual barriers you may have built around achieving your goal.

Carol wanted to teach classes on how to be a great telemarketer. She had investigated the market for years and created a unique road map to increasing sales. Instead of starting by having her state her goal, I asked her to write down her external intent: How will your goal benefit other people? She simply stated, “The information will help companies increase sales and remove frustration in both their personnel and their customers.” She began to develop her classes and was ready to launch when tragedy hit. Both her parents fell seriously ill, and she had to take care of them. She called me in tears, “I can’t pursue my goal of creating the sales classes because I can’t travel out of town. I can’t believe I’ve failed.” I asked her, “What was your goal?” She said, “To create the sales classes . . . Wait. . . . No, looking back, my intent was to deliver expertise that streamlines the sales process. Perhaps I could focus on writing by creating a newsletter or a book.” Investigating the how and why behind her goal rather than viewing her current plan as fixed freed Carol to find other strategies to accomplish her goal. Circumstances change, but not our heart’s intent. For a new job, you want to discover what the company, its employees, and your new boss need to succeed. Getting personal inspires people to interview you rather than dismissing you because of your past work experience.

Tim worked on the development side of a television and film corporation. His dream was to move over to the production side of the business so he could be part of the realworld action of creating a show. However, no matter how many people he spoke to or how many internal production jobs he applied for, the answer was always the same, “No one moves from development to production. The work takes different skills. And the two sides don’t get along because of divergent personalities.” Tim liked his employer, but he was frustrated because he feared he would have to change companies in order to obtain his dream job. After attending one of my seminars, he decided to try a different approach. Instead of setting his goal as “getting a job on the production side,” he wrote down his intents. For his internal intent, he stated that he wanted to get into production so he could have the hands-on experience of creating a show. He wanted to see the results of his work on the air rather than merely written on a piece of paper. His external intent was more difficult to define—as it usually is. After thinking about how others (his employer, his new boss) could benefit, he realized that he had done a great job on the development side. He worked successfully with production personnel, and he had outstanding reviews. Wouldn’t his company be able to produce a better product—a higher quality television show—if they had a person who understood both the development and production processes? Couldn’t they save money by finding hidden costs? Yes! Tim uncovered a unique benefit that he could share with his manager and other people who were hiring for production positions. As we follow his story, you will discover how his focus on positive benefit opens new conversations and opportunities.

Intent Is Powerful
Intent unites your goal with your passion. Other people may have goals similar to yours, but they will never be able to match the unique benefit you offer. Passion plays a huge role in success. If you love what you do, everyone knows you will find a way to make it real. Writing your intent down taps into your intuition and beliefs—your skeleton. It enables you to believe in yourself and your goal, which begins to produce muscle and skin. The knowledge you gain as you take action thickens your skin and your ability to withstand temporary setbacks. You don’t have to have all the answers before you begin—you just need to define the passion behind your goal so you know what you are truly trying to achieve. It is miraculous to experience the amount of energy that is generated when you decide to open your heart and mind to what you truly want to create. By focusing on what you love about your goal, you gain confidence about the real reason you want to achieve it. You are able to let go of all the “this is what I should be doing” and get on with “this is what I want to be doing.”

Mark had his own public relations (PR) firm and wanted a change. He just wasn’t passionate about his business anymore. Creating press releases did not excite him, and he felt he was always focused on mundane tasks. However, he couldn’t just quit because he had a wife and son to support. He didn’t know what else he wanted to do—start a new career or get a marketing job? Instead of sinking in the quicksand of self-doubt, he started by writing down his intentions. His internal intent stated what was in his heart: He loved talking to media contacts about his clients. His external intent helped him quickly gain focus—he wanted to help people achieve greater business success by building bridges between the media, their large audiences, and his clients. Wow! This was it—he didn’t hate PR, he just didn’t like some of the services he offered as part of his business. Using this information, he realized that to succeed he needed to stop offering services he “thought he should sell.” Instead of creating press releases and publicity campaigns, he would focus on selling consulting services that helped his clients understand how to build successful relationships. His passion was re-ignited. By gaining focus and by defining his intentions, he went from ground zero—not wanting to do PR anymore—to becoming very passionate about his future work. His definition of success expanded to include his own satisfaction with his work. Mark teamed up with colleagues who offered the capabilities his customers needed but that he disliked delivering. His focus was developing media relationships; his partners would create press releases and campaigns. By sharing clients, he has grown his business by creating new programs based on his passion, not on the products society expects a PR agency to offer. Give yourself permission to explore how to connect your intent—your passion—to the outside world. Instead of setting yourself up for failure or putting your success in the hands of others, create your own unique path to success.

Sarah was having trouble finding a boyfriend. She really wanted a soul mate but felt like she never had any luck with men. She kept hoping that her friends would help her meet someone, but they never did. At dinner one night with a group of friends, Sarah was dwelling on what was missing in her life. Instead of commiserating with her, I asked her about her intent. “How will having a boyfriend benefit you? What would you love about it?” She stated that having a boyfriend would provide her with a sounding board for her ideas and a partner with whom to explore the world of art (which she loves). She would have someone to cuddle with at night and to share her dreams and sense of adventure. When I asked her about her external intent, Sarah said that she had never really thought about how someone would benefit from being in a relationship with her. After a minute, she looked up at me and revealed her soul, “I guess someone would benefit, because they would be in a relationship where they could explore a piece of the world they love—hopefully it would be art. And they could share in a lot of laughter and discovery.” Wow! Her friends at the table were amazed. They just thought she wanted a boyfriend because “it was her next step.” One friend looked at her and said, “I get it. I know someone who is studying art in school. You could go to amuseum together. Oh, what a perfect first date that would be!” Now that Sarah has stopped making the pursuit of a boyfriend all about her, her friends can visualize the possibility that someone else could be happy being in a relaGain tionship with her. Understanding that Sarah really is ready to bring benefit to someone else’s life made her friends more willing to help her.

EXERCISE Define Your Internal and External Intentions
Passion is the foundation for creating a “can do” attitude and opening a world of opportunity. Some people fear defining a single intent: DON’T. Remember, this is just the beginning of your successful life—you will have multiple goals, multiple careers, and multiple successes. When you start a new goal, you may feel isolated and frustrated. This is normal. When these feelings occur, focus on your intent, trust your instincts, and go for it. You have nothing to lose, and so much to gain by persevering. Choose the one idea right now that is most important to you. As you complete the next steps, you will discover how your ideas fit together under the “big intent” you define in this exercise. Do not limit the exploration of your true intentions by becoming lazy. Energize your mind and answer the hard questions. If your goal is to make a lot of money, find out what that really means. Focus on how the money will affect your life or the lives of others. That way you haven’t created an opportunity for failure.

Steven wanted to make $1 million in two years—that was his goal. I asked him, “Do you believe you can achieve it in two years?” He replied, “If I don’t, then I’ll set a later date. It motivates me.” I simply asked, “Does it really?” Steven then confessed that he actually feared that he might not achieve it. However, he thought that everyone would think he was very successful if he said, “$1 million in two years.” The reality is that his doubts came through when he spoke. Since he didn’t believe what he was saying, no one else did either. Instead of setting a goal of making a lot of money, he investigated his intent and decided that what he really wanted to do was create a product to help small business owners compete against major stores. Excitedly, he explained that this product, plus associated services, would launch him on the road to success. Steven refocused the way he spoke about his goal and found that people’s perception of his success was based on how he makes a difference, not on his bank account. He is developing his prototype and is on his way to generating enough revenue to continue to expand his business. Complete the following exercise by writing down whatever comes into your mind and heart. Do not analyze, just write. 1. Write Your Internal Intent Why do you want to achieve this goal? What do you love about it? How will your life change once your goal is achieved? 2. Write Your External Intent How will achieving your goal help other people? How will it benefit the company you work for, your clients, or the world?

Draw a Heart around Your Intentions
After you have discovered and successfully written down your intentions, draw a big heart around them. Why? Intent is the emotional foundation for achieving your goal. It provides the underlying core truth, the bedrock of success. Drawing a heart around your intentions, acts as a reminder of why you are starting on this new journey. Why it is worth the potential “blood, sweat, and tears.” If you are having a bad day, simply pull your intent sheet out and become re-invigorated. Your intent has infinite intelligence. Its power moves your goal forward as if pushed by an invisible hand. Now is the time to create a new world in which you are an integral part, not just a bystander. Your job is simple: Challenge yourself, continually improve, achieve; and then achieve some more. Become an adventurer, following your dream goal as it changes and grows. Move forward with an unquenchable desire to make a difference in your life. One of my clients shared with me, “The intent step shoves your soul into action and there is no stopping you.”

Your New “28-Hour” Day
Your intentions open up a world of possibilities. Your mind and heart will explode with opportunities that you want to pursue. Choice now enters into your decisionmaking process. Which activities, especially personal ones, do you seek to accomplish and which do you decide to let go? Flexibility is a gift you can give yourself that costs you nothing and returns so much. You may not realize it, but you can accomplish more in one day than your parents ever imagined. What used to be linear activities and decisions—driving to work, catching up on phone messages, planning evening events—can now be completed in parallel. You can help your kids finish their homework while instant messaging a colleague. You can check your voicemail from your car, call your mother while grocery shopping, and, with TiVo, make a 60-minute television program 42 minutes by skipping the commercials. Life has sped up! No matter how hard you try to keep them separate, your personal and work time will mesh and often, collide. It is important to remember that you are in control of your schedule. However, even with this new efficiency, guilt never takes a vacation. The pressure to do more is unrelenting. Your friends, family, and colleagues will probably warn you about balancing time between your personal life and the effort you exert toward realizing your goals. There is no magic formula for living a successful life in absolute balance. There are responsibilities you can’t ignore, but organizing them into a set of manageable activities is within your power. Stay sane and succeed by staying calm, centered, and ready to act as necessary:

Push guilt aside. To achieve your goals you often have to struggle and make hard choices—guilt feeds off this energy. Give yourself the freedom to experience it and let it go. Your goals were formed from your intent and are worth achieving. It is normal to feel overwhelmed at times. As you progress, you will learn to adapt through planning, negotiating, and prioritizing. You will find time for your friends, family, and fun.

Mentally reprioritize often. To move forward with ease, you want to be constantly and consistently effective, no matter the task. Achieve success by learning to stay calm when interruptions occur. It is acceptable to break from goal mode and focus on resolving the cause of the interruption. Mentally bookmark where you are on the task so you can easily maneuver between tasks with ease and without guilt.

Revel in the small tasks of life. We often get bored with routine responsibilities such as changing a diaper. These tasks may not feel like progress on your goal but they need to be completed. Think of these tasks as helping you get closer to success and functioning as a human—an accomplishment of huge proportions.

Know you will succeed. No matter what distractions occur, believe that you will work through them. If you feel unsure, light a fire under your purpose by asking, “What is one action I can take right now to go after my goal?” Then take it.

Gain Support of the World
Establishing a positive foundation from which to build helps us work through the hard times we encounter when pursuing a goal. To gain even greater support of your goal, write down all the ways the world will change once you achieve your goal. List any ideas that come to mind. For instance, when Edison invented the light bulb, his goal was to create a way to light up homes in the night. He was unsuccessful over 5,000 times. Instead of looking at his attempts as failures he stated, “I’ve succeeded in finding 5,000 different ways that you cannot possibly build a light bulb.” At his core, Edison understood the need to persevere because of the benefits his product would ultimately produce:

There would be less crime because people could see at night.

Factories could stay open at night and employ more people.

Children could play safely outside.

Baseball games could be held at night.

People could find their way through forests.

Newindustriescouldbeestablished,creatingmorejobs.

The United States would be viewed as a country of innovators, inspiring people to share their ideas with our scientists.

The light bulb could be used to explore the darkness of space.

By simply listing how the world will change, you create a wonderful momentum for your idea. Now, if you are having a rough day and don’t feel like moving your idea forward, you are not just giving up on achieving your goal, but you are giving up on all the wonderful benefits the world will receive! You have the power to achieve what is in your heart. Stop looking for reasons why something didn’t work and seek new paths to make your goal a reality. Enjoy stepping toward the unexpected future, and celebrate the outcomes you produce. An awesome way for other people to understand your goal and buy into your success is for you to share this fun list with others and ask them to add to it. Who knows, one of the ideas they come up with may be your next area of success! List a few fun ways the world will change as you achieve your goal!

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