About Routines
- Families function at their best when there are predictable routines in their day to day lives. For example, if bedtime routine always consists of bath time, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, stories, then bed, - children will learn that “this is what happens in our family” and will be less likely to resist.
- Routines also help children to feel safe and to understand the behavior expected. Babies and young children are learning new things everyday. It is comforting for them to have times in their day when they know what is going to happen.
- Routines also make life easier for you - if everyone knows what to do there will be less nagging and reminding and hopefully less complaining and pushing of boundaries.
Settingup a bed time routine?
Here are some tips for establishing a bed timeroutine that works for your family.
- Look at what you would include in a bedtime routine and make sure you are getting started early enough. Bedtime needs to be calm and not rushed.
- Ask yourself: What time does your child actually fall asleep? How long does it take them to get to sleep after they go to bed? The answer to these questions will help you to decide roughly what time you need to get started. For example the routine for a 4 year old child that takes 15-20 minutes to fall asleep around 7.30 pm could look like this:
5.30 pm Dinner
6.00 pm Bath/pajamas
6.30 pm Stories/toilet/brush teeth
7.00 pm Bed and songs or prayer
7.10 pm Kiss and goodnight
7.30 pm Hopefully asleep
- Take a few minutes to write down what a bed time routine might look like for your family. All families are different. It may take a bit of experimenting to find the routine that best suits your situation
- If your child is old enough you could make a chart of what will happen
- Use a night light or lamp if your child is frightened of being in the dark
- Try to avoid exciting games before bedtime
If your child keeps calling you back because they arehungry/thirsty/itchy/lonely etc let them know you love them, but thatthis is the last time you will come to the room, say goodnight, andthen leave. Remember, you are the boss. If you want to establish aroutine then you need to stick to it. Especially in the first fewweeks. Children and even babies are very good at sensing if you areserious about bedtime or if a bit of nagging or whining will bend therules. Here are some examples of routines that have worked for thefamilies below:
Parent Tips
Helena & Joe: parents of Jasmine aged 6
We have a basic routine we started when Alice was a baby and we tryto stick to it, although now she is six she seems to be able to handlea few changes now and then. After dinner she has a bath and puts onpajamas, her father or I read two chapters of a book usually on thesofa (this is the hardest bit to stick to as she always wants us toread more!) –then it is teeth, toilet and bed. When she is in bed weput the night light on and sing a couple of songs then kiss hergoodnight. We have a little thing we say each night as we close thedoor “Goodnight, I love you… see you in the morning”.
Jane and Mikel: parents of 4 children aged six, four, two and 10 months As we now have four little ones and I have mostly been locked awayfeeding the baby at sleep time, we have set up a roster of activitiesfor each night of the week so that it is easier for us to put the threeother children to bed in a calm manner. For example, Wednesday night wedraw and the children all have a drawing activity which they do withone parent. While they are happily involved we take the youngest tobed with a story, then a little while later the next oldest, and thenour eldest last. As we put them into bed, if they are under four, wesing them a special song, and then when they reach four they get aspecial verse and then when they reach six they get an additionalverse. They have to wait for these age landmarks and they know that itis a very special time when their turn comes. If they are extra fussyor boisterous, then we light a special angel candle which they take tobed as we sing.
Jen and Rich - parents of 2 girls aged 7 and 5 We have been working on the bed time routine deal for.. oh... about7.75 years. Every time we think we've got it all worked out, ourdaughter enters the next stage without telling us and we are leftholding the pieces trying to figure out what is happening. When ourdaughter(s) was younger, we would play the same CD every single nightat bedtime to help queue up the idea that its time for peace and quietnow. That wonderful CD is called "On a Starry Night" and I still playit for my girls sometimes for old time's sake!
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