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For Dummies is a registered trademark of Wiley Publishing, Inc. in the United States and other countries. Used here by license.Defining Destination Weddings and Why They’re So PopularA destination wedding is a wedding ceremony and celebration held in a location away from where the bride or groom live. Basically it’s your wedding, your way . . . just away. Because a destination wedding always involves travel, more time is allotted for the occasion, and the wedding becomes a multiday event.
Laid-back beach hotels, mountaintop ski resorts, lush vineyards, glitzy casino hotels, full-service cruise ships, exotic islands, and European castles and villas are among the top venues couples choose because the “destination” part of the equation is as important as the “wedding” one.
You may hear a destination wedding referred to as a wedding away or a weddingmoon. Although most couples do segue from their destination wedding right into the honeymoon, it’s not necessarily part of the overall plan.
This section gives you a quick overview of destination weddings, including the main advantages of weddings away and why they’re becoming the fastest-growing segment of the bridal industry.
Simplifying your weddingDestination weddings allow you, the couple, to make your own rules. At hometown weddings, the reception always follows the ceremony. And a young bride and groom who are heavily influenced by their parents’ taste and budget may be pressured into having a more traditional or complex wedding than they really want.
When more-independent couples wed, they’re likely to make choices that are personally important to them, rather than following what others say they “should” have or “should” do at their wedding. Overall, destination weddings tend to be modest and casual. The emphasis is on relaxation and shared experiences. Your ceremony could be followed by guests mounting waiting horses to take off on a trail ride, or boarding a catamaran for an afternoon of snorkeling. And in place of a stuffy, old-fashioned reception, you can have a beach barbecue capped by fireworks.
The fun, ease, convenience, and simplicity of a wedding away are especially appealing to certain types of couples, especially more-mature ones. They may have busy careers but a fondness for travel. Perhaps one or both of them are getting married for the second or third time, and they want to do something in a completely different way from an earlier wedding. Or they may not have the time, taste, or funds for a big, complicated affair.
Paying the priceThe expense of a hometown wedding is a strong incentive to make couples scan the horizon for a cheaper place to tie the knot. On average, weddings away cost about 40 percent less than traditional at-home weddings. The price of a nice ceremony in the Caribbean or Mexico rarely exceeds $10,000 — and many come in at half that amount or less.
The rationale for my wedding awayWhen I was planning to get married, I interviewed several people in the wedding industry in New York City. At one hotel, the banquet manager painted this picture:
“Imagine yourself gliding down our 60-foot aisle wearing a long satin gown and train dotted with rhinestones. Everyone you know (we can fit 400 in our space!) is gazing up at you. In one corner of the room, a string quartet serenades you with a work by Beethoven, and the entire space is decorated to resemble a winter palace, complete with faux hanging icicles.”
Knowing I’d feel dressed for Halloween in that fashion, hating the idea that people would be staring at me, loathing classical music, and imagining that the budget for an event decorated that way would approximate the Gross National Product of a small country, I gulped, ran home as fast as I could, and said, “Honey, we’re going to Vegas. . . “
The average American wedding now runs $27,852, according to a recent Condé Nast Bridal Group study. And with wedding costs rising about 8 percent annually, by 2010 the average wedding tab is likely to approach $35,000. In urban areas that include New York City; Washington, D.C.; and Los Angeles, that’s already the price tag for a modest affair.
How much sense does it make to spend money on a wedding that you could otherwise use to buy a new car, put a down payment on a house, or take the honeymoon trip of a lifetime? That’s something you have to decide for yourselves — although many destination wedding couples already know they would rather put the cash in their pockets than in a conventional wedding’s coffers.
Choosing quality over quantityTransporting friends and family to a dream destination to see you marry can feel like stepping into a fairytale or an adventure film. Lifting people out of their everyday lives and bringing them to a place that’s beautiful and exciting has a magical quality to it — a definite destination wedding appeal.
Weddings away are also popular because you get to invite only the people you truly want to come. Because not everyone can afford to travel, guest lists are smaller than those of hometown weddings. Fewer guests means a more intimate event in an ideal setting to reunite with those who mean the most to you.
The size of a guest list for a destination wedding can range from zero into the hundreds, but most lists usually don’t exceed 100. A typical wedding away involves just 15 to 20 guests, although that number is expanding as more and more couples get wise to the advantages of affordable out-of-town weddings.
Although couples can ease their financial burden by having a destination wedding, guests don’t get off as easily. Their costs of transportation, lodging, and food and activities not covered by the hosts can easily top $1,000 over the course of a long weekend (not to mention a wedding gift). Attendants who are asked to wear special dresses and accessories or rent tuxedoes have to shell out even more. Fortunately, the prospect of combining a vacation with a celebration in a wonderful place helps most guests and wedding-party members justify the expense.
When it comes down to it, though, all it takes is two to marry — plus an officiant and witnesses, as required. So if you don’t care to have guests at all, that’s your prerogative. Plenty of couples who don’t want any fuss build a wedding into a vacation and comfortably marry without fanfare.
The Differences between Getting Married Away and at HomeBeing aware of the differences between a destination wedding and an at-home wedding can make it easier to decide which is right for you. You need to know the following essential points if you’re considering a destination wedding:
Location, location, location: Destination weddings involve overnight travel to another place, often selected for its scenic appeal. If the setting is particularly beautiful, the wedding couple may be able to save money on certain aspects of the wedding, such as flowers and decorations.
More time to celebrate: A conventional hometown wedding lasts between three and five hours, longer if you have a break between the ceremony and reception. In general, a destination wedding takes place over three days or more.
Lower cost: Despite the longer amount of time involved, destination weddings are usually cheaper than at-home ones.
Understanding how eloping differs from a destination wedding
In the past, marrying away from home was synonymous with eloping. That was usually the only option for young couples who needed parental consent for marriage but couldn’t obtain it. They’d quietly leave home — often concealed under the cover of night’s darkness — bound for a place where the legal age for marriage was lower, and no one would appear to challenge their intent to wed.
When couples of legal age eloped, they often did so to avoid familial conflict over differences in color or creed. Sometimes, though, couples simply eloped because it was fast, easy, private, and cheap.
Today the definition of eloping refers to any couple who secretly heads off to another place to marry. Sometimes the decision is impromptu, but other times, their intentions are planned far in advance. Either way, guests are rarely involved and vows typically aren’t followed by a reception. The couple either continues on to a honeymoon or returns to their normal lives right away, announcing the marriage at a time when they see fit.
Casual versus traditional celebration: Hometown weddings are normally traditional affairs, sometimes stodgy and often predictable due to formulaic agendas. At a destination wedding, you can toss out conventions you don’t like and make the event as laid back or as formal as you like. Most couples opt for casual ease.
Making your own rules: Beyond the necessity of obtaining a wedding license and being married by a licensed officiant, destination weddings don’t have any hard-and-fast rules. For example, you know that one about the groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding? At a destination wedding, the couple may have checked into their room a couple of days before the event — and he’s the one to zip up her dress and tell her she looks beautiful before they head off together to say their vows at an oceanside gazebo.
Say good-bye to the home team: Because a destination wedding usually takes place a significant distance from home, anyone you can’t do without — from your pastor to your pedicurist — you have to invite to the wedding and pay for their time, travel, and services. Otherwise, expect to use a local officiant and vendors.
Looking at the Most Popular Locations
When a particular destination is favored by a large number of couples, you can usually find a good reason for it. (Convenience and ease of travel are major ones; that’s why, according to statistics, two-thirds of couples choose the United States.)
Here are the top spots for destination weddings, year after year:
Las Vegas: Vegas weddings are fast, fun, and can be very affordable (as long as you don’t blow your stash at the casinos or opt for an over-the-top affair). And nowhere else does a marriage license bureau stay open until midnight every day.
Hawaii: Heavenly beaches and resorts dedicated to the pursuit of pleasure make these islands (especially Maui) a popular choice.
Disneyland and Disney World: Having recently introduced opulent couture weddings, Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings keep spreading pixie dust on loving couples.
The Caribbean and Mexico: Quintessential beach getaways, the islands of the Caribbean, the coasts of Mexico — and the all-inclusive resorts they harbor — have perfected the art of providing couples with turnkey weddings (where all the elements are bundled together for your convenience).
Canada: As charming as France in the east and as scenic as the Alps in the west, Canada speaks your language. With an advantageous exchange rate and legal same-sex marriages, Canada provides ample reasons to head north of the border.
Fiji: This bit of heaven on earth is a long way to go to get married (and paradise doesn’t come cheap), but that doesn’t discourage couples who want an uncommon ceremony in a lush setting.
Europe: History, romance, scenic beauty, and sophisticated culture draw couples here. Complex marriage requirements erect obstacles in some countries such as France, although others, like Scotland, are more welcoming.
Cruise ships: The price is right, and so is the strategy: Marry in port, and then sail off on your honeymoon.
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For Dummies is a registered trademark of Wiley Publishing, Inc. in the United States and other countries. Used here by license.