Self Absorption and Manipulation of Self-Esteem Boston MA

Does Low Self-Esteem Run In Families?

Most parents are blissfully unaware in how the emotional development of children works and what their role in it is. Often, parents have self-esteem issues that they are not aware of and hold faulty behavioral patterns that then create low self-esteem in their own children. Two of these low self-esteem behaviors are self absorption and manipulation. 

One of the ramifications of having low self-esteem tends to be a person that is self-absorbed. It makes sense if you think about it because if a person does not feel very good about themselves then most of their energy is needed just to focus on themselves to get by day to day. It usually takes someone with pretty good self-esteem to show interest in others and to have that extra energy to put into other people. 

This child in essence feels that his father puts the ‘worth’ of the television he is watching above him. After all, if the son were that important his father would be spending time talking and playing with him and not be glued to the tv set right? Multiply this by years and you have the makings of a kid with self-esteem issues who now goes out in the world feeling ‘un-important’.

Another unhealthy behavioral pattern that is rampant in many families is that of the narcissistic parent that in essence manipulates their child for their own emotional gain. In a healthy family the parent should be mature enough and self-aware enough to recognize that their child has certain emotional developmental needs and that the parent provides that support and attention to the child.

We see this in families for instance where an immature mother pushes her child into show business for her own vicarious needs instead of what is really healthy for the child. We also see this in the father that might push his son in sports even if he doesn’t want to in order to live out his fantasies or get attention in some vicarious way. Both of these are manipulations which can harm the self-esteem of the child. 

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