The Three Behavior Checks For Parents Washington DC

At times, when your kids’ behavior goes out of control, you do not always need to take dire consequences such as taking them to the car. There are other ways of encouraging your kids to adopt a healthy behavior. One of them is to check your own behavior – no anger, no harsh tone, and no showing authority. Yes, it works! Let’s see how.

The Three Behavior Checks For Parents

If you wish your child to change his or her behavior, first you should be willing to change yours. It is said that you can take a horse to the lake, but cannot make it drink. In this context, you can scold your kids for their behavior, but cannot make them change it unless they learn themselves.

Check Your Anger – Whenever you see your child behaving badly, the first thing to do is calm down. Confronting kids is a no, no. approach them with a firm, reassuring, and calm voice. If you appear frustrated, the kids are going to make you more of it. For example, your kids are fighting with each other. Instead of saying, “stop fighting”, say, “calm down.” THE CATCH HERE IS TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO AND NOT WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN DOING.

Check Your Tone - Observe your tone when you scold your child. It reflects anxiety and harshness. According to a research, our human brains respond better to voices that have a downward tonality movement. So, when you talk to your kids, your tone should be normal, and when you ask them to calm down, your tone should be slightly lower. SUBTLE TONE WORKS LIKE MAGIC ON YOUR KIDS. Harsh tone instills a sense of fear in the child and brings a sort of resentment in them. Think like this: will you like it, if your boss talks to you in a harsh tone? How bad you feel! The same goes for your kid. So, be gentle. This is the key to handling them.

Check Your Authority Level - one of the most effective ways of handling your kids is to come down to their level, literally! When you want to speak to your kids, get down on one of your knees and make eye contact with them. It reflects a sense of respect and importance to them. Remember, kids have respect too. So, maintain it. Besides this, getting down deepens the connectivity between you and your child. With a subtle tone and firm voice, talk to them and watch the magic happen!

These are some of the simplest rules of parenting. If you find it difficult to control your anger or change your tone, then stop expecting your kids to change their behavior too! It requires a bit of effort, but it is worth it. And remember, when you combine all the above behavioral changes in you, you become more influential for your kids. Your respect and power increases in your child’s mind and he or she responds well.

Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His Web site, www.TerrificParenting.com,, offers free parenting guidance and an e-mail newsletter.

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