Valentines Day Gifts Washington DC

Valentine’s Day is about displaying your affections for someone with a romantic gesture, not buying gifts.

No, seriously, try that one. Maybe she’ll buy it.

The average man will spend about $164 today on his Valentine, according to the National Retail Federation’s 2008 Valentine’s Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey. So, if you just got your girl a card, it’s best not to mention this study exists.

There are a lot of Valentine buyers guides out there, including one I saw that said, “Give the Gift of Meat” — and it wasn’t even some sort of sex joke.

But of all these guides, I think we can agree that none of them is this one. Which is why those, unlike this one, can all be taken into consideration before making a purchase.

Only read these suggestions if you’re someone with a lot of free time, or looking for a way to make a clean break:

Chocolate: This gift says, “I’m not creative,” but it also says, “You’re not fat,” which may score big points. 

Exercise equipment: This might seem like the gift equivalent of offering to sleep on the couch, but the folks at sheknows.com say couples who work out tend to, well, work out. It builds strong relationships and can improve your sex life, the article says. The only problem is that you’d have to work out to make this work, and what are you, a guy who’s not lazy? I don’t think so.

Little heart-shaped candies: This can really make an effect on your Valentine. That is, if you don’t give ones that say things like “Be mine” and pick truly meaningful phrase like “It’s ur baby.”

Pink iPod Nan The people at Apple say it’s the perfect gift, and I for one don’t want to get involved in the kind of lawsuit that would go along with calling them liars.

Jewelry: Girls love it when you buy them the kind of jewelry you can eat or buy out of a machine at the bowling alley. My last girlfriend loved this gift. In a completely unrelated event, she never spoke to me again after I gave it to her.

The gift of love: If you forgot to get her something for Valentine’s, just go with this and cross your fingers.

Staff writer Kevin Haas believes his girlfriend will dump him by Valentine’s Day. But then again, he’s an optimist. It could be over much sooner than that. Haas can be reached at 815-544-3452 or khaas@rrstar.com.